Friday, February 20, 2009


  You know, I am pretty open-minded when it comes to music and I'm interested in concepts that span beyond my brain cells but once in a while you come across something so fucked that it cannot really be rationalized to the point of good or bad. 

   Case in point: CRUX OF THE MOSH, the album by Chesapeake, Ohio's Torn Flesh. Where to start on this one? Well, this is thrashy punk with a pretty obvious amateur slant to the whole proceedings...we're not quite in "The Shaggs of thrashdom" here, but one listen and you'll see what I mean. Pretty sloppy musicianship (not necessarily a bad thing in some cases...), really bad singing (think Mall Punk with a nasal infection and absolutely NO sense of rhythmic timing), and to top it off...hilariously misguided lyrics. Correction: hilariously misguided Christian-oriented lyrics! Oh joy.

    Here's a sample from their humble tune entitled "Gay Rights?"
The world is full of men lusting men
        Gay isn't happy when it's a sin.
        Free sex has got it's price to pay
        God still loves you but in a different way.
        If you want gay right - YOU GOT 'EM!
        You have the right to repent!
        You have the right to confess your sins...

     The tune goes on to proclaim:
        It's your choice to be gay or not...
        But if you choose gay you'll end up mighty hot...yow!

    Now, one could go on to state how this is paranoid homophobic rambling...but you don't even have know why? Because the fact of how BAD it all is overshadows any of it's other shortcomings. The blatant goofiness of the sentiment is almost forgivable, considering.

   Later in the album, the attempted epic feel of "Innocent Eyes" is sabotaged by incompetent playing, half-assed emotion, and ludicrous lyrics sung in an even more ludicrous voice:
        Children are playing on the street,
        running and screaming in bare feet.
        Children are learning in Sunday School,
        all about Jesus and the golden rule...
       Children happy and safe in bed,
        Mom and Dad are happily wed.
       Happy baby is being spoon fed,
        patted on the back and placed into bed.
       Kids spend money at a movie flick,
        a comedy or drama - whatever they pick.
       Twinkle twinkle, you're a movie star...
        until you get dumped out of someones car.

   Please keep in mind that no matter how inane these words may seem when read, imagine how even more ridiculous is sounds when these lyrics are growled by a really awful singer who is accompanied by a fifth rate gang of wannabe Punks for Christ trying to make it sound all emotional and heavy and deeeeep.

   I could go on and about the track where some member of the band imitates a dog barking, silly samples, a punked-out rendition of "Happy Birthday", or how the band seemingly love the title of their album so much they they see it fit to repeat it throughout the length of the recording at a slowed down speed that surely must have reflected their sense of "Gee, this studio technology is great...we can even slow down the tone of our voices...Killer!"

1 comment:

Jack Celliers said...

A gem! this is like some kinky pleasure...